DFD

So a garage thread is pointless for me, everything interesting is on Trav's side of the garage. But in an effort to be a contributing member of the forum, I can offer wedding stories. Because in my line of work, there are some doozies. And people love this shit.

So cozy up, criss cross apple sauce on the story rug. Most of these I black out and forget in an effort to convince myself on a weekly basis to keep doing this for a living. So I'm happy to entertain you all on Sunday mornings with tales from the night before, before I block them out.

We are in the thick of it right now, September and October are the busiest wedding months of the year in the Midwest. But stories just from last season and this one include naked pictures of a bride, a married maid of honor getting caught hooking up with someone else's boyfriend, the totaled Veloster and now, last nights shenanigans:

A "barn" wedding, I.E a converted barn out in rural parts of Indiana that have gained popularity thanks to Pinterest.

The couple had been a dream since day 1 (always a telling jinxing factor) She contracted me over a year ago. I had maybe a dozen emails from her since? Crazy easy, super organized, genuinely enjoyed working with her.

Enter the "bullfrogs." Because it was a barn wedding and most of these venues have NO idea what they are doing, the liquor rules can be lax.

This couple provided a mixed drink at the bar called a bullfrog:
A liter of Mountain Dew
- empty out a judged amount.
- refill that amount with vodka, doesn't matter what kind.
- add red koolaid packet.
Enjoy irresponsibly poured right from the liter.

They had run out of this concoction before cocktail hour was even over. (My thought was Thank God.) but no worries, all of this supplies can be bought at the convenience store up the road. Groomsmen proceeded to replenish.

By 8:30, I had cut off all liquor period, including this nightmare "cocktail." The wedding guests were absolutely trashed.

The DJ ends up shutting things down at 9:30 when last call is made (I allowed the coors light keg to continue) because it was totally pointless. At 9:40, as my team is packing up our gear, a bridesmaid comes running at me in tears. There are SIX fist fights breaking out on the lawn of the property. A some 20 people involved.

We do the typical "break it up, go home, or I'm calling the cops." They separate but due to one plastered bridesmaid who won't stop clawing, they break back into fist fights three times. At this point I gave in and called the cops to come break it up.

They show up in force, block everyone in, take everyone's IDs and separate the issue. At one point I turn around and one cop has his flashlight over a bartender's hands asking her why they are stained entirely red. Koolaid, because koolaid.

I have not yet heard how it ended up. When I finally got my sober team out of there after waiting for 50 minutes for the cops to move from the only exit out of the place, when we had worked a 17 hour day, the one drunken problem bridesmaid had been told three times to get out of the cops face or he was going to be her ride.

What was it all over? Drunken bridesmaid boyfriend had dated one of the bartenders when he was 15.

Can't make this shit up.

Until next week....

That bullfrog drink sounds like some dumb college shit. Would try one.

Keeping people from getting totally shitty must be hard since most people go HAM with the drinks at a wedding.

This gonna be good.

Oh dang. This thread is going places.

In4tittypics

dubshow wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 11:35 amIn4tittypics

You've seen them dude.

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:07 pm

dubshow wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 11:35 amIn4tittypics

You've seen them dude.

And the rest of us?

Sno wrote:

dubshow wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 11:35 amIn4tittypics

You've seen them dude.

There weren't good enough for, what was it, 2.5 Xanax a day? Nope.

Then there was time some group played flip cup... Sno you got off real light.

stripethree wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:17 pm

Sno wrote:
You've seen them dude.

There weren't good enough for, what was it, 2.5 Xanax a day? Nope.

For about 100 lbs.

stripethree wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:18 pm Then there was time some group played flip cup... Sno you got off real light.

You guys at least stopped and didn't get in anyone's face that was just trying to do their job.

Last week we were at the Indianapolis Arts Center and had a $5,000 piece of artwork damaged beyond repair.

It may have been a 200 year old table but ya'll stopped before it became a financial issue for Zilch and I.

All though if our planner has an outlet for stories like these, some people might have heard about ya'll, too.

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:28 pm

stripethree wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:18 pm Then there was time some group played flip cup... Sno you got off real light.

You guys at least stopped and didn't get in anyone's face that was just trying to do their job.

Last week we were at the Indianapolis Arts Center and had a $5,000 piece of artwork damaged beyond repair.

It may have been a 200 year old table but ya'll stopped before it became a financial issue for Zilch and I.

All though if our planner has an outlet for stories like these, some people might have heard about ya'll, too.

Oh please. That was a plastic folding table. We are harmless.

dubshow wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:53 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:28 pm

You guys at least stopped and didn't get in anyone's face that was just trying to do their job.

Last week we were at the Indianapolis Arts Center and had a $5,000 piece of artwork damaged beyond repair.

It may have been a 200 year old table but ya'll stopped before it became a financial issue for Zilch and I.

All though if our planner has an outlet for stories like these, some people might have heard about ya'll, too.

Oh please. That was a plastic folding table. We are harmless.

Was definitely a glass antique patio table, bub.

I am calvinballz and I approve of this thread.


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Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:11 pm

dubshow wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:53 pm

Oh please. That was a plastic folding table. We are harmless.

Was definitely a glass antique patio table, bub.

I cannot speak to the age of the table but it was certainly glass.

ALSO, Story was entertaining, drink sounds terrible.
Mixing caffeine and booze at the start of the night is a fucking terrible idea.
In fact, its usually a terrible idea all the time. Most of the handful of times I went full blackout was because i got tired and started hitting the redbull & vodka and didn't stop. Now I know to get one or two and dats it.

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:11 pm

dubshow wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:53 pm

Oh please. That was a plastic folding table. We are harmless.

Was definitely a glass antique patio table, bub.

It was a glass table, but probably from Pier 1.

We would have paid for all the damages, you know us.
We're the most irresponsible adults you know.

Melon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:12 am

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:11 pm

Was definitely a glass antique patio table, bub.

It was a glass table, but probably from Pier 1.

We would have paid for all the damages, you know us.
We're the most irresponsible adults you know.

Responsible irresponsible adults.

Melon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:12 am

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:11 pm

Was definitely a glass antique patio table, bub.

It was a glass table, but probably from Pier 1.

We would have paid for all the damages, you know us.
We're the most irresponsible adults you know.

Well if that's the case, there was certainly damage done to the bar bill.

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:48 am

Melon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:12 am



It was a glass table, but probably from Pier 1.

We would have paid for all the damages, you know us.
We're the most irresponsible adults you know.

Well if that's the case, there was certainly damage done to the bar bill.

Next time put water out when people are thirsty.

Melon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:55 am

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:48 am

Well if that's the case, there was certainly damage done to the bar bill.

Next time put water out when people are thirsty.

Trav is still shitty over this.

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:59 am

Melon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:55 am

Next time put water out when people are thirsty.

Trav is still shitty over this.

Dang, was meant as a not to makes someone

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:59 am Trav is still shitty over this.

If we were really that thirsty, there was a perfectly functioning fountain flowing through the property. Survival mode did not kick in that bad. I think that would have drawn some attention though, and possibly nixed flip cup aspirations before they got going. We lived to tell the tale and give you shit about it occasionally.

Also, re: bar bill. You know who you invited. Let's get the good gin, what could possibly go wrong?.

Muwhahahahahah. One small reason I want no part of a wedding is good grief I have too many friends that put away a lot of expensive alcohol. And have you seen how much of those energy drinks puts away? Like that shit is water. Like water when there is no water and you are the thirstiest you've even been in the midwest, ever.

Melon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:09 am

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:59 am

Trav is still shitty over this.

Dang, was meant as a not to makes someone

I mean, not like omg don't bring it up shitty. Not the level of -we never got charceturie- shitty. Caterer should have been on it and if I really wanted to, I'm sure I could pull up the train of communication we had where I said "hey, water, sodas, and ice all coming with you for bar, yes?"

#weddings

By Acid's request, a relatively uneventful weekend. Groom was the most self absorbed insufferable jackass we've ever had but beyond that, no major things to report. Outdoor ceremony was a scorcher with over 100 degree heat index after the groom opted for no tents (and no back up rain plan ) Had a drunk couple try to take the dance floor right as the bride and groom were taking their first dance as husband and wife.

Ceremony was at the Governor's mansion which is kind of cool, it's not something that is really allowed. We had to have every last name of every last guest, personnel, vendor, port-o-lette delivery guy, etc. before arrival. Caused a shit show considering delivery schedules like that aren't usually scheduled and designated by the rental company until the morning of. But we didn't miss a one. But no pictures because rules.

Edible arrangements were sent out this morning by us to the vendors who were especially helpful in making it happen. And bride loved me enough to hand over a nice thank you gift.

For reference, in case you missed the interesting car thread, the reception was held with guest tables mere feet from expensive cars.






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