The Sno Show - Tales of Wedding Fuckery

Acid666 · Mon Sep 25, 2017 6:25 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:30 pm

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What was put on the tables between these cars?

SAWCE · Mon Sep 25, 2017 6:58 pm

Acid666 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 6:25 pm
Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:30 pm

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What was put on the tables between these cars?

That was the beer pong table, obviously.

Sno · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:04 pm

Acid666 wrote:
Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:30 pm

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What was put on the tables between these cars?

Long guest tables

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SixSpeeder · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:06 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:04 pm
Acid666 wrote:
What was put on the tables between these cars?
Long guest tables

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Looks like an accident waiting to happen :drunk:

Sweet venue

Desertbreh · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:07 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 9:01 am So a garage thread is pointless for me, everything interesting is on Trav's side of the garage. But in an effort to be a contributing member of the forum, I can offer wedding stories. Because in my line of work, there are some doozies. And people love this shit.

So cozy up, criss cross apple sauce on the story rug. Most of these I black out and forget in an effort to convince myself on a weekly basis to keep doing this for a living. So I'm happy to entertain you all on Sunday mornings with tales from the night before, before I block them out.

We are in the thick of it right now, September and October are the busiest wedding months of the year in the Midwest. But stories just from last season and this one include naked pictures of a bride, a married maid of honor getting caught hooking up with someone else's boyfriend, the totaled Veloster and now, last nights shenanigans:

A "barn" wedding, I.E a converted barn out in rural parts of Indiana that have gained popularity thanks to Pinterest.

The couple had been a dream since day 1 (always a telling jinxing factor) She contracted me over a year ago. I had maybe a dozen emails from her since? Crazy easy, super organized, genuinely enjoyed working with her.

Enter the "bullfrogs." Because it was a barn wedding and most of these venues have NO idea what they are doing, the liquor rules can be lax.

This couple provided a mixed drink at the bar called a bullfrog:
A liter of Mountain Dew
- empty out a judged amount.
- refill that amount with vodka, doesn't matter what kind.
- add red koolaid packet.
Enjoy irresponsibly poured right from the liter.

They had run out of this concoction before cocktail hour was even over. (My thought was Thank God.) but no worries, all of this supplies can be bought at the convenience store up the road. Groomsmen proceeded to replenish.

By 8:30, I had cut off all liquor period, including this nightmare "cocktail." The wedding guests were absolutely trashed.

The DJ ends up shutting things down at 9:30 when last call is made (I allowed the coors light keg to continue) because it was totally pointless. At 9:40, as my team is packing up our gear, a bridesmaid comes running at me in tears. There are SIX fist fights breaking out on the lawn of the property. A some 20 people involved.

We do the typical "break it up, go home, or I'm calling the cops." They separate but due to one plastered bridesmaid who won't stop clawing, they break back into fist fights three times. At this point I gave in and called the cops to come break it up.

They show up in force, block everyone in, take everyone's IDs and separate the issue. At one point I turn around and one cop has his flashlight over a bartender's hands asking her why they are stained entirely red. Koolaid, because koolaid.

I have not yet heard how it ended up. When I finally got my sober team out of there after waiting for 50 minutes for the cops to move from the only exit out of the place, when we had worked a 17 hour day, the one drunken problem bridesmaid had been told three times to get out of the cops face or he was going to be her ride.

What was it all over? Drunken bridesmaid boyfriend had dated one of the bartenders when he was 15.

Can't make this shit up.

Until next week....

10/10 thread. The real story seems to be the jet fuel.

Acid666 · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:08 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:04 pm
Acid666 wrote:
What was put on the tables between these cars?
Long guest tables

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HAHAHHA. Seriously? Dinner between those cars? That's pretty close. If this were my friends one of them would of snuck in a dual action polisher and we'd be looking for fuck ups to correct. They'd get caught, and then another would run across the street to a CVS and MacGuyver some 2000 grit onto an Oral-B electric toothbrush that he bought to finish the job.

Sno · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:10 pm

SixSpeeder wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:06 pm
Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:04 pm

Long guest tables

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Looks like an accident waiting to happen

Sweet venue

Took a call from the venue manager this morning that I thought for sure was going to be the "how would you like to handle damages" conversation, but alas, seems nothing has been noticed. That being said, it was an older crowd mostly involved in politics accoustomed to events in expensive spaces (museums and such.)

dubshow · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:48 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:10 pm
SixSpeeder wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:06 pm

Looks like an accident waiting to happen

Sweet venue
Took a call from the venue manager this morning that I thought for sure was going to be the "how would you like to handle damages" conversation, but alas, seems nothing has been noticed. That being said, it was an older crowd mostly involved in politics accoustomed to events in expensive spaces (museums and such.)

me at event:
google search: "how to hot wire lamborgini"

Apex · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:49 pm

Acid666 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:08 pm
Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:04 pm

Long guest tables

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

HAHAHHA. Seriously? Dinner between those cars? That's pretty close. If this were my friends one of them would of snuck in a dual action polisher and we'd be looking for fuck ups to correct. They'd get caught, and then another would run across the street to a CVS and MacGuyver some 2000 grit onto an Oral-B electric toothbrush that he bought to finish the job.

Apex · Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:50 pm

5/7 would attend a Sno shindig.

troyguitar · Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:05 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:10 pm
SixSpeeder wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:06 pm

Looks like an accident waiting to happen

Sweet venue
Took a call from the venue manager this morning that I thought for sure was going to be the "how would you like to handle damages" conversation, but alas, seems nothing has been noticed. That being said, it was an older crowd mostly involved in politics accoustomed to events in expensive spaces (museums and such.)

You movin' on up to join high society? :impressive:

That Italian car image is really working.

Sno · Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:10 pm

Apex wrote:5/7 would attend a Sno shindig.

I had a cow crash this one last year.

No joke. It was held on an active farm, the barn was directly above the cow pins. (My car smelled like cow shit for days.)

During the middle of the reception, a full size male got loose. (This actually happened twice, we had one charge us while we were doing a walk through. One more reason to fucking not have your wedding in a barn...) and approached the barn. Walked right in between the doors and into the middle of the reception. The farm employees were truly freaking out, it could have quickly become dangerous.

Additional pictures because I wish I was kidding.

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troyguitar · Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:12 pm

Dat tall bride.

Apex · Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:12 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:10 pm
Apex wrote:5/7 would attend a Sno shindig.
I had a cow crash this one last year.

No joke. It was held on an active farm, the barn was directly above the cow pins. (My car smelled like cow shit for days.)

During the middle of the reception, a full size male got loose. (This actually happened twice, we had one charge us while we were doing a walk through. One more reason to fucking not have your wedding in a barn...) and approached the barn. Walked right in between the doors and into the middle of the reception. The farm employees were truly freaking out, it could have quickly become dangerous.

Additional pictures because I wish I was kidding.

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I am all for a nice country wedding, but that's :impressive:

Sno · Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:29 pm

troyguitar wrote:Dat tall bride.

She's in my top 3 for worst and bitchiest. Gorgeous wedding and she is gorgeous. But I almost quit her wedding, refunded her in full and walked away. She made every vendor's life hell.

But she had a sister who was practically a twin and at least tolerable. On the right.

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troyguitar · Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:38 pm

Haha figures... dat hot vs crazy spectrum.

SixSpeeder · Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:57 pm

Farm girls :boner:

dubshow · Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:59 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:29 pm
troyguitar wrote:Dat tall bride.

She's in my top 3 for worst and bitchiest. Gorgeous wedding and she is gorgeous. But I almost quit her wedding, refunded her in full and walked away. She made every vendor's life hell.

But she had a sister who was practically a twin and at least tolerable. On the right.

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dang, why dont all brides send you noods.

Acid666 · Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:31 pm

Sno wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:10 pm I had a cow crash this one last year.

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Damn, that venue looks ridiculously nice.
We had a barn place booked (not on a farm, an old renovated barn that was really nice), but bailed out and just went with the original house party thing.

wap · Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:01 pm

Sno, those pics looked beautiful but I can't help but think that everything would just be muddy and filthy and full of chicken and cow shit. :gag:

Why do people do working farm weddings?

wap · Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:01 pm

Sno, those pics looked beautiful but I can't help but think that everything would just be muddy and filthy and full of chicken and cow shit. :gag:

Why do people do working farm weddings?

SixSpeeder · Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:05 pm

wap wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:01 pm Sno, those pics looked beautiful but I can't help but think that everything would just be muddy and filthy and full of chicken and cow shit. Why do people do working farm weddings?

SixSpeeder · Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:05 pm

wap wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:01 pm Sno, those pics looked beautiful but I can't help but think that everything would just be muddy and filthy and full of chicken and cow shit. Why do people do working farm weddings?

troyguitar · Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:50 pm

wap wrote:Sno, those pics looked beautiful but I can't help but think that everything would just be muddy and filthy and full of chicken and cow shit. Why do people do working farm weddings?

Pinshit.

ChrisoftheNorth · Tue Sep 26, 2017 7:02 am

[user not found] wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:33 pm
Sno wrote:
She's in my top 3 for worst and bitchiest. Gorgeous wedding and she is gorgeous. But I almost quit her wedding, refunded her in full and walked away. She made every vendor's life hell.

But she had a sister who was practically a twin and at least tolerable. On the right.

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Sister is hotter and that face you can tell she is a thunder cunt.