I want to diiiiiie. I am out of wedding shape from the winter and yesterday’s 5:30 am alarm clock to 1:30 am crash left me damn near unable to stand this morning. If you ever want to know what t feels like, stand for twenty hours straight. That’s it. Just stand, preferably in ballet flats with no support, and shift your weight to whatever side hurts less at the moment. Throw in some stairs and heavy lifting if you’re feeling particularly motivated but my entire team all cracked 30,000 steps yesterday. That’s 120,000 steps. Google says an average mile is about 2,000 steps. So if we’re keeping tabs, that’s 60 miles by 4 people yesterday. Google also says an average day at Disney World is about 13k. Fuck. Me.
As for good stories, for serving vegan to two Irish Catholic families, we had absolutely no drunken issues. I can safely say this wedding was as perfect as they pretty much come.
I was talking to the venue coordinator at about 10:30 who pointed out a tall guy who walked past us. He was a groom that got married at the same venue three months ago. The girl on his arm who he was damn near groping in public was not his wife he married three months ago. And he was definitely still wearing a wedding ring. We could only surmise that the female was the one that got invited with a plus one and he was her plus one.
It is also hysterical to watch drunken couples end up in arguments at weddings. For what they think is a quiet ignorable dispute is blanantly clear to all of us that are sober. We had a couple sitting at table 14 for over an hour last night (omg get up so we can clear your chargers and votives!!) with the female staring straight ahead with her arms crossed and the male leaning over towards her speaking in hushed tones. No idea who did what but it’s almost hysterical to see them thinking they’re acting normal.
Also had our first wedding cake ever go completely untouched. Couple never wanted to slice it, weren’t into the ceremony idea of it but at 12:00 am we packed up a full wedding cake clearly only placed for aesthetics. Insanity.
Brides bouquet is also on my dining room table. We asked her as she was leaving if she wanted it. Her response “fuuuuck it! They’re just going to die!” Couldn’t bring myself to just throw away a $300 bouquet.
Typical weed smoking on the patio and mother of the bride handed out condoms on the dance floor at about 11:30. Only to smack one out of her daughter’s hand and yell that she wants grand babies. Wedding season is open, friends.