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Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:54 pm
by Desertbreh
Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:42 pm
by wap
Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:48 pm
by Desertbreh
wap wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:42 pm Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?
She actually likes the Rolla. In fact she rented one after the latest power steering pump fiasco. I just drove it. It is a solid appliance. If I was living alone in Thailand drinking all day and getting "massages"....this would be a car I could rock.

The problem with all Corollas and Camrys is that the used pricing is still :fullretard: Used 2021 Rola for $21.5K with 66K miles on it? When a new 2023 cost $1K more. What in the actual fuck? Same with Camrys. And Camrys are another $10K higher. I'm looking at a $22-$23K top end.

I have not looked at competing Korean products.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:52 pm
by wap
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:48 pm
wap wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:42 pm Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?
She actually likes the Rolla. In fact she rented one after the latest power steering pump fiasco. I just drove it. It is a solid appliance. If I was living alone in Thailand drinking all day and getting "massages"....this would be a car I could rock.

The problem with all Corollas and Camrys is that the used pricing is still :fullretard: Used 2021 Rola for $21.5K with 66K miles on it? When a new 2023 cost $1K more. What in the actual fuck? Same with Camrys. And Camrys are another $10K higher. I'm looking at a $22-$23K top end.

I have not looked at competing Korean products.
Well, you know I've drunk the Korean Koolaid and still feel a Sonata is a fabulous :dill: for what you get. Of course, my experience is now 3 years old.

However, if she likes the 'Rola, and they're ~$25k new, then you have your answer, IMO.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:57 pm
by Desertbreh
wap wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:52 pm
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:48 pm

She actually likes the Rolla. In fact she rented one after the latest power steering pump fiasco. I just drove it. It is a solid appliance. If I was living alone in Thailand drinking all day and getting "massages"....this would be a car I could rock.

The problem with all Corollas and Camrys is that the used pricing is still :fullretard: Used 2021 Rola for $21.5K with 66K miles on it? When a new 2023 cost $1K more. What in the actual fuck? Same with Camrys. And Camrys are another $10K higher. I'm looking at a $22-$23K top end.

I have not looked at competing Korean products.
Well, you know I've drunk the Korean Koolaid and still feel a Sonata is a fabulous :dill: for what you get. Of course, my experience is now 3 years old.

However, if she likes the 'Rola, and they're ~$25k new, then you have your answer, IMO.
I should kick some Korean tires.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 7:03 pm
by razr390
Get her an Elantra or whateva

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 7:10 pm
by Tar
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:54 pm Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.
100% agreed on your first thought, but Mazdas do seem to be on lots so maybe a Mazda 3 or something?

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 7:12 pm
by Tar
wap wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 6:42 pm Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?
:jimp:

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 7:18 pm
by Desertbreh
razr390 wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 7:03 pm Get her an Elantra or whateva
It's a soul sucking search.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 8:01 pm
by CaleDeRoo
The Civic is a nicer car than the Corolla, and depending on VWs current warranty the Jetta is another option that might be even cheaper than the Toyota.

With that said my friend bought his sister a Corolla Hybrid in the beginning of the year for around $25k and she's getting over 60mpg bopping around their small suburban Ohio town.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 9:40 pm
by D Griff
I’d skip the Koreans for this chick as she is full on a “car runs in spite of her” person. Corolla all the way, get that naturally aspirated, same transmission since the 90s nasty bitch that will never break even with zero maintenance. The Koreans aren’t quite at that level.

I’d just go new given the :fullretard: pricing.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2022 11:00 pm
by Valkyrie
Corolla hybrid is hard to beat if they exist right now.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:58 am
by max225
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:54 pm Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.
https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:59 am
by max225
CaleDeRoo wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 8:01 pm The Civic is a nicer car than the Corolla, and depending on VWs current warranty the Jetta is another option that might be even cheaper than the Toyota.

With that said my friend bought his sister a Corolla Hybrid in the beginning of the year for around $25k and she's getting over 60mpg bopping around their small suburban Ohio town.
Civic is nicer but civics don’t exist without markup in Cali.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 2:42 am
by Johnny_P
Infiniti q50

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 6:32 am
by D Griff
max225 wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:58 am
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:54 pm Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.
https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.
:dat: there are plenty of ‘yota :dillerman: who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne… :jimp:

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 6:48 am
by wap
D Griff wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 6:32 am
max225 wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:58 am

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.
:dat: there are plenty of ‘yota :dillerman: who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne… :jimp:

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.
:lolol:

Also agree on NA motors only for a car :derp:
I made the same decision for :tits: H for the same reason.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 7:56 am
by CaleDeRoo
D Griff wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 6:32 am
max225 wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:58 am

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.
:dat: there are plenty of ‘yota :dillerman: who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne… :jimp:

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.
Tried to get my mom in a Lucerne Super back in the day. They can't hold a candle to the early 90's Park Avenue Ultra, black on black, with concert sound iii though.

:jimp:

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 7:57 am
by golftdibrad1
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:54 pm Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.
:lolol: you are fucking hilarious. :like:


my only comment/suggestion is that things are different now and toyota is not necessarily the quality/longevity king like they used to be. Its not that they have gotten worse its that everyone else is better.

That said, sticking to a Jap manufacture is best bet IMHO. CRV, HRV, corolla cross, I would not discount the kia option, or a mazda 3/cx3.

also list:
https://www.jdpower.com/cars/ratings/qu ... /small-suv

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:35 am
by D Griff
Yeah Mazda3 is nice if she wants to be classy. It seems they're solid cars other than corrosion, which shouldn't be an issue in Palm Desert.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:54 am
by Desertbreh
Johnny_P wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 2:42 amInfiniti q50
Too much shit to go wrong.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:57 am
by Desertbreh
max225 wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:58 am
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:54 pm Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.
https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.
TX.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:57 am
by golftdibrad1
Desertbreh wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:54 am
Johnny_P wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 2:42 amInfiniti q50
Too much shit to go wrong.
yes, nothing with a CVT. NOTHING.

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:59 am
by Desertbreh
CaleDeRoo wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 7:56 am
D Griff wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 6:32 am

:dat: there are plenty of ‘yota :dillerman: who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne… :jimp:

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.
Tried to get my mom in a Lucerne Super back in the day. They can't hold a candle to the early 90's Park Avenue Ultra, black on black, with concert sound iii though.

:jimp:
And he delivers

Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:59 am
by Desertbreh
golftdibrad1 wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:57 am
Desertbreh wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 8:54 am

Too much shit to go wrong.
yes, nothing with a CVT. NOTHING.
All Corollas have CVTS