Help Me Find My Paralegal a Soul Sucking Derpmobile to replace the Black Stallion

[Desertbreh]

Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

[wap]

Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?

[Desertbreh]

Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?

She actually likes the Rolla. In fact she rented one after the latest power steering pump fiasco. I just drove it. It is a solid appliance. If I was living alone in Thailand drinking all day and getting "massages"....this would be a car I could rock.

The problem with all Corollas and Camrys is that the used pricing is still Used 2021 Rola for $21.5K with 66K miles on it? When a new 2023 cost $1K more. What in the actual fuck? Same with Camrys. And Camrys are another $10K higher. I'm looking at a $22-$23K top end.

I have not looked at competing Korean products.

[wap]

Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?

She actually likes the Rolla. In fact she rented one after the latest power steering pump fiasco. I just drove it. It is a solid appliance. If I was living alone in Thailand drinking all day and getting "massages"....this would be a car I could rock.

The problem with all Corollas and Camrys is that the used pricing is still Used 2021 Rola for $21.5K with 66K miles on it? When a new 2023 cost $1K more. What in the actual fuck? Same with Camrys. And Camrys are another $10K higher. I'm looking at a $22-$23K top end.

I have not looked at competing Korean products.

Well, you know I've drunk the Korean Koolaid and still feel a Sonata is a fabulous for what you get. Of course, my experience is now 3 years old.

However, if she likes the 'Rola, and they're ~$25k new, then you have your answer, IMO.

[Desertbreh]

She actually likes the Rolla. In fact she rented one after the latest power steering pump fiasco. I just drove it. It is a solid appliance. If I was living alone in Thailand drinking all day and getting "massages"....this would be a car I could rock.

The problem with all Corollas and Camrys is that the used pricing is still Used 2021 Rola for $21.5K with 66K miles on it? When a new 2023 cost $1K more. What in the actual fuck? Same with Camrys. And Camrys are another $10K higher. I'm looking at a $22-$23K top end.

I have not looked at competing Korean products.

Well, you know I've drunk the Korean Koolaid and still feel a Sonata is a fabulous for what you get. Of course, my experience is now 3 years old.

However, if she likes the 'Rola, and they're ~$25k new, then you have your answer, IMO.

I should kick some Korean tires.

[razr390]

Get her an Elantra or whateva

[Tar]

Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

100% agreed on your first thought, but Mazdas do seem to be on lots so maybe a Mazda 3 or something?

[Tar]

Since she seems to like a bigger car than a 'Rola, what about a Cammie?

[Desertbreh]

Get her an Elantra or whateva

It's a soul sucking search.

[CaleDeRoo]

The Civic is a nicer car than the Corolla, and depending on VWs current warranty the Jetta is another option that might be even cheaper than the Toyota.

With that said my friend bought his sister a Corolla Hybrid in the beginning of the year for around $25k and she's getting over 60mpg bopping around their small suburban Ohio town.

[D Griff]

I’d skip the Koreans for this chick as she is full on a “car runs in spite of her” person. Corolla all the way, get that naturally aspirated, same transmission since the 90s nasty bitch that will never break even with zero maintenance. The Koreans aren’t quite at that level.

I’d just go new given the pricing.

[Valkyrie]

Corolla hybrid is hard to beat if they exist right now.

[max225]

Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.

[max225]

The Civic is a nicer car than the Corolla, and depending on VWs current warranty the Jetta is another option that might be even cheaper than the Toyota.

With that said my friend bought his sister a Corolla Hybrid in the beginning of the year for around $25k and she's getting over 60mpg bopping around their small suburban Ohio town.

Civic is nicer but civics don’t exist without markup in Cali.

[Johnny_P]

Infiniti q50

[D Griff]

Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.

there are plenty of ‘yota who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne…

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.

[wap]

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.

there are plenty of ‘yota who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne…

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.

Also agree on NA motors only for a car
I made the same decision for H for the same reason.

[CaleDeRoo]

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.

there are plenty of ‘yota who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne…

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.

Tried to get my mom in a Lucerne Super back in the day. They can't hold a candle to the early 90's Park Avenue Ultra, black on black, with concert sound iii though.

[golftdibrad1]

Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

you are fucking hilarious.


my only comment/suggestion is that things are different now and toyota is not necessarily the quality/longevity king like they used to be. Its not that they have gotten worse its that everyone else is better.

That said, sticking to a Jap manufacture is best bet IMHO. CRV, HRV, corolla cross, I would not discount the kia option, or a mazda 3/cx3.

also list:
https://www.jdpower.com/cars/ratings/qu ... /small-suv

[D Griff]

Yeah Mazda3 is nice if she wants to be classy. It seems they're solid cars other than corrosion, which shouldn't be an issue in Palm Desert.

[Desertbreh]

Infiniti q50

Too much shit to go wrong.

[Desertbreh]

Our paralegal is a nice lady, and as honest and competent and hardworking an employee as the day is long. But man she doesn't give a fuck about cars. Two car garage in the desert, all filled with shit, her and her mother park their shitboxes in the driveway. She has a black Buick Lucerne which I have monikered "The Black Stallion". The Stallion is the biggest piece of shit you have ever seen. It has a ZERO VALUE. I have tried to stay out of her business and let her keep repairing the Stallion/getting reemed by mechanics vs. acquire debt but I finally lost my shit this morning after a $700 power steering repair yesterday shot fluid all over the concrete and got towed back to the shop today. This is a woman who hates cars and hates maintaining cars. If Cale and his quarter million mile 150 mph twin turbo Audi is the Aragorn of vehicle care, this woman is Sauron. I can't fucking take it anymore. I offered to up her bonus a few grand if the bonus went to buy a new or almost new car and ran some math for her.

I'm thinking 2023 Corolla LE @ MSRP, but those are not exactly sitting in rows on the lots right now. Somebody got a specific vehicle or other model that is a better idea?

Come at me.

https://smartpath.onetoyota.com/invento ... 1&type=new
These guys sell at sticker if you have so cal issues … let me know I can drive you there with the lady paralegal friend etc.
Corolla’s are on lots. Don’t believe the hype. Now anything hybrid Toyota is a short wait, unless it’s the sienna or anything with the prime moniker.

TX.

[golftdibrad1]

Infiniti q50

Too much shit to go wrong.

yes, nothing with a CVT. NOTHING.

[Desertbreh]

there are plenty of ‘yota who don’t charge markup, most just require you to be in state (wish I hadn’t gained expertise in this recently). A Corolla isn’t anything special, you could likely go to Toyota.com, search incoming inventory, find one relatively nearby marketed at MSRP and order that bitch through their website via their “Smart Path” service.

I agree that a Civic is nicer but also less reliable with turbo . If the NA is available at MSRP, I’d take that over the Corolla for her, otherwise… eh, not a car person.

Also, had to Google Buick Lucerne…

Inb4 Cale says they're hot very seriously.

Tried to get my mom in a Lucerne Super back in the day. They can't hold a candle to the early 90's Park Avenue Ultra, black on black, with concert sound iii though.

And he delivers

[Desertbreh]

Too much shit to go wrong.

yes, nothing with a CVT. NOTHING.

All Corollas have CVTS