OT 21: DFD Giveth and DFD Taketh Away

[D Griff]

Weekend was good, but quick. Friday night hit the best sushi spot we’ve been to out here for our anniversary dinner. Super fresh tasting fish, good sized rolls.. pricey, but will definitely be back there for special occasions like this.

Saturday flew down to Utah for my buddy’s dad’s memorial service. Was nice to see him and catch up and pay my respects to his father. Another one of our childhood friends from church was there as well. Saturday night after the service went to my dad’s place out there and spent the evening with him.

Sunday met back up with my two friends for lunch at the other guy’s house then they dropped me off at the airport to fly back up here.

I’m exhausted, my foot is killing me, but I’m glad I got to go see him/then and my dad.

That's cool that you got to see your friends and your dad. One silver lining of a sad time with someone passing, you get to get together with old friends/family to celebrate them.

Also, you are busting out of those dress clothes

[D Griff]

Man, I would love to go camping, was just thinking about that this weekend. Too bad I just was on vacay for two weeks probably can't bail out of work in the near-term.

Weekend here was pretty chill, seemed to pick up the 'VID on our trip/return flights. I continually test negative but had some cold symptoms. We planned out my 'he-shed' project, I did a bit of cycling, cleaned up the yard/house, washed the GR, laid low at the house, watched some sports ball. The Panthers still appear to be terrible but my alma mater, U Miami did well.

Traveling to Philadelphia this week and one of my college buddies lives there, going to watch the Thursday night U Miami game together

Still waiting for dem pics,


Also, weekend was busy mostly packing/getting ready for our trip to Prague. Leaving tomorrow.

Sorry on the delay, it's just time consuming to put a big post together

Been really busy with work since being back from two weeks off.

[wap]

Still waiting for dem pics,


Also, weekend was busy mostly packing/getting ready for our trip to Prague. Leaving tomorrow.

Sorry on the delay, it's just time consuming to put a big post together

Been really busy with work since being back from two weeks off.

Yeah, I get it. No worries. Just wanna see some pics of Greece, lol

[SAWCE]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

[SAWCE]

Weekend was good, but quick. Friday night hit the best sushi spot we’ve been to out here for our anniversary dinner. Super fresh tasting fish, good sized rolls.. pricey, but will definitely be back there for special occasions like this.

Saturday flew down to Utah for my buddy’s dad’s memorial service. Was nice to see him and catch up and pay my respects to his father. Another one of our childhood friends from church was there as well. Saturday night after the service went to my dad’s place out there and spent the evening with him.

Sunday met back up with my two friends for lunch at the other guy’s house then they dropped me off at the airport to fly back up here.

I’m exhausted, my foot is killing me, but I’m glad I got to go see him/then and my dad.

That's cool that you got to see your friends and your dad. One silver lining of a sad time with someone passing, you get to get together with old friends/family to celebrate them.

Also, you are busting out of those dress clothes

Haha the pants were custom made by indochino. Shirt I had to just grab something off the rack at Nordstrom rack, but I’m going to need to start getting custom shirts made too.

[Desertbreh]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

Adoption is quite the interesting process these days.....I'm sure I'm out of touch with it. Over 20 years ago we were very invested in a Thailand adoption before I concentrated by swimmers for a victory insertion. I would be more adoption oriented than surogacy but everyone's got an opinion.

I take it being prosperous dinks is not an option?

[Desertbreh]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

Last response was a little wooden. Sorry guys! It would make more sense to me on this baby stuff to X-ray at the beginning of the process instead of adding insult to frustration. Buuuut......that's not how our health care system works.

[D Griff]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

I'm sorry man. Hit me up if you ever want to talk about any of this... it's a long road, I've benefitted from learning that many people suffer these sorts of challenges and outcomes and knowing we're not alone in it.

I agree with you on all of the surrogacy versus adoption points. Sadly don't always think in the same way, Allison is very determined to have a bio kid if possible.

[D Griff]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

Last response was a little wooden. Sorry guys! It would make more sense to me on this baby stuff to X-ray at the beginning of the process instead of adding insult to frustration. Buuuut......that's not how our health care system works.

It is very frustrating to deal with. I always heard about the healthcare system sucking.,.. things with my dad and our attempts to have really made me feel for people who suffer most from it. If my dad didn't have my mom, my half sister, and to a lesser extent myself, my other siblings and a great group of family friends, he'd be zonked out in a home somewhere with nothing. Thanks to all the above he at least has a decent quality of life at home and still gets to talk to his family and see them a lot.

[SAWCE]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

Last response was a little wooden. Sorry guys! It would make more sense to me on this baby stuff to X-ray at the beginning of the process instead of adding insult to frustration. Buuuut......that's not how our health care system works.

It’s such a pain in the ass system. They want to ensure you’ve been trying for a full year before they’ll see the woman for just about anything? Seems completely backwards.. why can’t a couple, or woman, show up and say “I want to start my family planning” and just get the full array of testing done up front to see if she’s even physically able to conceive and carry a child? Why make people go through the heartache of trying for a year, possibly going through miscarriages, and then try to push these appointments out like they did to us because “we’ll you got pregnant once, surely it’ll happen again!”.. we had to fight to keep this appointment scheduled which is unreal.

But yeah, to answer other questions, DINK lyfe would absolutely work for me, but Michelle isn’t interested. That’s fine, I knew that going into the relationship/marriage.

Adoption definitely looks different today than it used to. Most agencies promote open adoptions, so you have ti navigate how having your child’s biological parent involved in their life to some extent looks and works for your family. I see the benefit in that for the child’s mental well-being, but definitely adds a layer of complication.

I’d love to go the surrogate route, especially if one of my sisters was willing to do it for us since that would cut down on the cost significantly, but I think adoption is where we are going to end up. We talked about fostering, but she thinks it’d be too heartbreaking to foster kids and develop those relationships and then see them go back to their families where they might just end up back in the shitty situation that got them into the foster system to begin with. Foster to adoption is possible, but they make it clear on the foster information that the intent is always to reunite families.

[golftdibrad1]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

Dang, that stinks man sorry.

I read your HC system rant as well, and I agree 100%. ESP the fertility places are almost predatory in their cost and willingness to serve the healthcare customer. Insurance and government are to blame.

In that breath, is going somewhere else for a second opinion an option? We know someone that had some uterine issues that were fixed surgically and they later carried two kids to term with invitro.

[Desertbreh]

Last response was a little wooden. Sorry guys! It would make more sense to me on this baby stuff to X-ray at the beginning of the process instead of adding insult to frustration. Buuuut......that's not how our health care system works.

It’s such a pain in the ass system. They want to ensure you’ve been trying for a full year before they’ll see the woman for just about anything? Seems completely backwards.. why can’t a couple, or woman, show up and say “I want to start my family planning” and just get the full array of testing done up front to see if she’s even physically able to conceive and carry a child? Why make people go through the heartache of trying for a year, possibly going through miscarriages, and then try to push these appointments out like they did to us because “we’ll you got pregnant once, surely it’ll happen again!”.. we had to fight to keep this appointment scheduled which is unreal.

But yeah, to answer other questions, DINK lyfe would absolutely work for me, but Michelle isn’t interested. That’s fine, I knew that going into the relationship/marriage.

Adoption definitely looks different today than it used to. Most agencies promote open adoptions, so you have ti navigate how having your child’s biological parent involved in their life to some extent looks and works for your family. I see the benefit in that for the child’s mental well-being, but definitely adds a layer of complication.

I’d love to go the surrogate route, especially if one of my sisters was willing to do it for us since that would cut down on the cost significantly, but I think adoption is where we are going to end up. We talked about fostering, but she thinks it’d be too heartbreaking to foster kids and develop those relationships and then see them go back to their families where they might just end up back in the shitty situation that got them into the foster system to begin with. Foster to adoption is possible, but they make it clear on the foster information that the intent is always to reunite families.

Strongly disagree, and I have standing to do so. I was adopted in 1968, my sister in 1971, at the height of the "sex is fun, the pill hasn't been invented" era. I consider both my sister and I to have reasonable amounts of intellectual curiosity and NEITHER of us have had the remotest interest in locating our natural parents.

1. Never felt like second class citizens being adopted, actually the opposite.
2. No need to dig around in the past. You gave up your child, new people accepted it. It's that simple. Move on.
3. If you want to be involved in your child's life, man the fuck up and do your job. You can't have weekend visitation at McDonald's then leave to go smoke dope and play video games while
other people man your post. It's not "better for the child".... that's just nouveau liberal garbage, sorry.

[D Griff]

It’s such a pain in the ass system. They want to ensure you’ve been trying for a full year before they’ll see the woman for just about anything? Seems completely backwards.. why can’t a couple, or woman, show up and say “I want to start my family planning” and just get the full array of testing done up front to see if she’s even physically able to conceive and carry a child? Why make people go through the heartache of trying for a year, possibly going through miscarriages, and then try to push these appointments out like they did to us because “we’ll you got pregnant once, surely it’ll happen again!”.. we had to fight to keep this appointment scheduled which is unreal.

But yeah, to answer other questions, DINK lyfe would absolutely work for me, but Michelle isn’t interested. That’s fine, I knew that going into the relationship/marriage.

Adoption definitely looks different today than it used to. Most agencies promote open adoptions, so you have ti navigate how having your child’s biological parent involved in their life to some extent looks and works for your family. I see the benefit in that for the child’s mental well-being, but definitely adds a layer of complication.

I’d love to go the surrogate route, especially if one of my sisters was willing to do it for us since that would cut down on the cost significantly, but I think adoption is where we are going to end up. We talked about fostering, but she thinks it’d be too heartbreaking to foster kids and develop those relationships and then see them go back to their families where they might just end up back in the shitty situation that got them into the foster system to begin with. Foster to adoption is possible, but they make it clear on the foster information that the intent is always to reunite families.

Strongly disagree, and I have standing to do so. I was adopted in 1968, my sister in 1971, at the height of the "sex is fun, the pill hasn't been invented" era. I consider both my sister and I to have reasonable amounts of intellectual curiosity and NEITHER of us have had the remotest interest in locating our natural parents.

1. Never felt like second class citizens being adopted, actually the opposite.
2. No need to dig around in the past. You gave up your child, new people accepted it. It's that simple. Move on.
3. If you want to be involved in your child's life, man the fuck up and do your job. You can't have weekend visitation at McDonald's then leave to go smoke dope and play video games while
other people man your post. It's not "better for the child".... that's just nouveau liberal garbage, sorry.

Yeah I have no experience in this matter but my gut is that you're 100% correct on this. I do have experience with mixed families (my dad had two kids from a previous marriage) and my half bro and sis having 'two moms' really wasn't a good thing. I'm obvi biased to my mom, but their mom was a drunk/addict and did nothing but muddy the waters on the rare occasion she actually bothered spending time with her kids.

[Desertbreh]

Strongly disagree, and I have standing to do so. I was adopted in 1968, my sister in 1971, at the height of the "sex is fun, the pill hasn't been invented" era. I consider both my sister and I to have reasonable amounts of intellectual curiosity and NEITHER of us have had the remotest interest in locating our natural parents.

1. Never felt like second class citizens being adopted, actually the opposite.
2. No need to dig around in the past. You gave up your child, new people accepted it. It's that simple. Move on.
3. If you want to be involved in your child's life, man the fuck up and do your job. You can't have weekend visitation at McDonald's then leave to go smoke dope and play video games while
other people man your post. It's not "better for the child".... that's just nouveau liberal garbage, sorry.

Yeah I have no experience in this matter but my gut is that you're 100% correct on this. I do have experience with mixed families (my dad had two kids from a previous marriage) and my half bro and sis having 'two moms' really wasn't a good thing. I'm obvi biased to my mom, but their mom was a drunk/addict and did nothing but muddy the waters on the rare occasion she actually bothered spending time with her kids.

Somebody with money and their shit together has arrived to save you from the financial repercussions of the biological product of at best your lack of judgment and at worst your recklessness. Be glad. But your "rights" as a parent ought to be non-existent, not negotiable.

[SAWCE]

It’s such a pain in the ass system. They want to ensure you’ve been trying for a full year before they’ll see the woman for just about anything? Seems completely backwards.. why can’t a couple, or woman, show up and say “I want to start my family planning” and just get the full array of testing done up front to see if she’s even physically able to conceive and carry a child? Why make people go through the heartache of trying for a year, possibly going through miscarriages, and then try to push these appointments out like they did to us because “we’ll you got pregnant once, surely it’ll happen again!”.. we had to fight to keep this appointment scheduled which is unreal.

But yeah, to answer other questions, DINK lyfe would absolutely work for me, but Michelle isn’t interested. That’s fine, I knew that going into the relationship/marriage.

Adoption definitely looks different today than it used to. Most agencies promote open adoptions, so you have ti navigate how having your child’s biological parent involved in their life to some extent looks and works for your family. I see the benefit in that for the child’s mental well-being, but definitely adds a layer of complication.

I’d love to go the surrogate route, especially if one of my sisters was willing to do it for us since that would cut down on the cost significantly, but I think adoption is where we are going to end up. We talked about fostering, but she thinks it’d be too heartbreaking to foster kids and develop those relationships and then see them go back to their families where they might just end up back in the shitty situation that got them into the foster system to begin with. Foster to adoption is possible, but they make it clear on the foster information that the intent is always to reunite families.

Strongly disagree, and I have standing to do so. I was adopted in 1968, my sister in 1971, at the height of the "sex is fun, the pill hasn't been invented" era. I consider both my sister and I to have reasonable amounts of intellectual curiosity and NEITHER of us have had the remotest interest in locating our natural parents.

1. Never felt like second class citizens being adopted, actually the opposite.
2. No need to dig around in the past. You gave up your child, new people accepted it. It's that simple. Move on.
3. If you want to be involved in your child's life, man the fuck up and do your job. You can't have weekend visitation at McDonald's then leave to go smoke dope and play video games while
other people man your post. It's not "better for the child".... that's just nouveau liberal garbage, sorry.

Oh dang. Very interesting to hear that perspective. Thank you for that. TBH, I don’t love the open adoption idea.

My buddy who I saw this weekend was adopted as well. His was closed, but he managed to track down and find his bio-mother after turning 18 and when we chatted this weekend he said that was a major positive turning point in his life and finally feeling like he had a place of belonging.

I imagine like all things in life it’s incredibly nuanced and I imagine those feelings vary person by person.

[SAWCE]

So last Wednesday Michelle had he HSG test to figure out some of this fertility stuff. We need to go back for different kinds of scans (MRI and something else) to verify, but it appears from that X-ray that she only has one fallopian tube and that he uterus is not the normal shape.

Based on this our chance of conceiving and her carrying a baby to term is something like 0.4%. So that’s shitty.

Our options now are basically reduced to adoption or surrogacy, which is $$$. My older sister offered to be a surrogate for us, but at 37 she’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy and would be at a higher risk if complications.. I don’t know that Michelle or I are comfortable asking her to put herself at risk for us to do something as selfish as have a bio-child. How do we live with ourselves if something physical or mental like postpartum depression goes wrong?

Adoption is $$ too, but not nearly to the same tune as surrogacy, and comes without all of the environmental impacts of adding another human to the world, since they were already or going to already be here.

Dang, that stinks man sorry.

I read your HC system rant as well, and I agree 100%. ESP the fertility places are almost predatory in their cost and willingness to serve the healthcare customer. Insurance and government are to blame.

In that breath, is going somewhere else for a second opinion an option? We know someone that had some uterine issues that were fixed surgically and they later carried two kids to term with invitro.

Definitely going to try to get a second opinion. Thanks for the insight about the person you know, that helps keep some hope up.

During the scan they also only saw one kidney.. so either something went terribly wrong with their scan, or Michelle is missing a kidney and has other shit we need to get eyes on. She scheduled an appointment with her PCP for tomorrow so they can hopefully order whatever tests need to be done to check out the kidney situation and figgier out where the hell we go from here.

[Desertbreh]

Strongly disagree, and I have standing to do so. I was adopted in 1968, my sister in 1971, at the height of the "sex is fun, the pill hasn't been invented" era. I consider both my sister and I to have reasonable amounts of intellectual curiosity and NEITHER of us have had the remotest interest in locating our natural parents.

1. Never felt like second class citizens being adopted, actually the opposite.
2. No need to dig around in the past. You gave up your child, new people accepted it. It's that simple. Move on.
3. If you want to be involved in your child's life, man the fuck up and do your job. You can't have weekend visitation at McDonald's then leave to go smoke dope and play video games while
other people man your post. It's not "better for the child".... that's just nouveau liberal garbage, sorry.

Oh dang. Very interesting to hear that perspective. Thank you for that. TBH, I don’t love the open adoption idea.

My buddy who I saw this weekend was adopted as well. His was closed, but he managed to track down and find his bio-mother after turning 18 and when we chatted this weekend he said that was a major positive turning point in his life and finally feeling like he had a place of belonging.

I imagine like all things in life it’s incredibly nuanced and I imagine those feelings vary person by person.

YMMV no doubt. My parents were just open about the whole thing from day 1 and I never felt the need. My sister is a softer soul than I and the fact that she and I were on the same page on this issue says something. Kudos to your buddy.

[SAWCE]

Oh dang. Very interesting to hear that perspective. Thank you for that. TBH, I don’t love the open adoption idea.

My buddy who I saw this weekend was adopted as well. His was closed, but he managed to track down and find his bio-mother after turning 18 and when we chatted this weekend he said that was a major positive turning point in his life and finally feeling like he had a place of belonging.

I imagine like all things in life it’s incredibly nuanced and I imagine those feelings vary person by person.

YMMV no doubt. My parents were just open about the whole thing from day 1 and I never felt the need. My sister is a softer soul than I and the fact that she and I were on the same page on this issue says something. Kudos to your buddy.

I think his stems from similar issues that I had with my family growing up where their lives revolved around the church and he/I had no interest in that, so always felt outcast and looked down on for not sharing their beliefs. His adoptive dad and mom also ended up having twin children later via IVF. I don’t know if preferential treatment was given to the bio-kids and that played a role in how he felt or what, but I’d assume it had to to some extent. I’ll need to chat with him more for sure now that we’re adults and can actually analyze and express our feelings verbally rather than just taking our aggression out playing shitty music with our band in his dad’s garage and being rebellious skaterbois.

[Desertbreh]

YMMV no doubt. My parents were just open about the whole thing from day 1 and I never felt the need. My sister is a softer soul than I and the fact that she and I were on the same page on this issue says something. Kudos to your buddy.

I think his stems from similar issues that I had with my family growing up where their lives revolved around the church and he/I had no interest in that, so always felt outcast and looked down on for not sharing their beliefs. His adoptive dad and mom also ended up having twin children later via IVF. I don’t know if preferential treatment was given to the bio-kids and that played a role in how he felt or what, but I’d assume it had to to some extent. I’ll need to chat with him more for sure now that we’re adults and can actually analyze and express our feelings verbally rather than just taking our aggression out playing shitty music with our band in his dad’s garage and being rebellious skaterbois.

[D Griff]

YMMV no doubt. My parents were just open about the whole thing from day 1 and I never felt the need. My sister is a softer soul than I and the fact that she and I were on the same page on this issue says something. Kudos to your buddy.

I think his stems from similar issues that I had with my family growing up where their lives revolved around the church and he/I had no interest in that, so always felt outcast and looked down on for not sharing their beliefs. His adoptive dad and mom also ended up having twin children later via IVF. I don’t know if preferential treatment was given to the bio-kids and that played a role in how he felt or what, but I’d assume it had to to some extent. I’ll need to chat with him more for sure now that we’re adults and can actually analyze and express our feelings verbally rather than just taking our aggression out playing shitty music with our band in his dad’s garage and being rebellious skaterbois.

This made me

I can definitely see his perspective and glad he was able to connect with the bio mom. I do feel like he was probably better off in that way versus the weird two parents thing as a small child where the kid really can't understand.

[golftdibrad1]

Yeah I have no experience in this matter but my gut is that you're 100% correct on this. I do have experience with mixed families (my dad had two kids from a previous marriage) and my half bro and sis having 'two moms' really wasn't a good thing. I'm obvi biased to my mom, but their mom was a drunk/addict and did nothing but muddy the waters on the rare occasion she actually bothered spending time with her kids.

Somebody with money and their shit together has arrived to save you from the financial repercussions of the biological product of at best your lack of judgment and at worst your recklessness. Be glad. But your "rights" as a parent ought to be non-existent, not negotiable.

100x this.

[MexicanYarisTK]

Sorry on the delay, it's just time consuming to put a big post together

Been really busy with work since being back from two weeks off.

Yeah, I get it. No worries. Just wanna see some pics of Turkey, lol

[wap]

Yeah, I get it. No worries. Just wanna see some pics of Turkey, lol

[MexicanYarisTK]

I watched my big fat greek wedding 3 last friday, as it was its first day on the theaters

[wap]

I watched my big fat greek wedding 3 last friday, as it was its first day on the theaters

And? Any good?